Half of a soul
by yuialex
Summary: Alex and his hardship after his return from Jumanji. He feels like something is missing, but does not know what. Some changes to the end of the movie from 2017.


**Jumanji- Half of a soul**

Ever since the return from an exciting, but nonetheless completely mind blowing dangerous and lonesome journey from inside the game Jumanji, Alex has felt something was missing. Almost like at part of him never returned together with him.

The first few days he spent hours inside the bathroom, looking at his own body. Noticing every small detail of his own face in the mirror. It had been a while since he had last seen his own expression.

In the beginning he assumed what he had missed was the handsome face his character had when he was known as Seaplane McDonough. Or maybe how daring he had been.

After having spent some time alone inside Jumanji he had after all both tried to fly a plane and fought against different attackers. Both animals and human lookalikes.

Having been returned to his own time, in his own weak body might make him feel a little lost.

Nonetheless his heart told him that his assumption was wrong.

The hole he felt inside had nothing to do with his body or lost skills.

Days went by and the feeling of missing something would not leave him.

After a short while he just concluded it was another aspect from the dreadful experience he had to carry with him for the rest of his life. Similar to the nightmares he had about crashing a helicopter.

When his playmates gave him the responsibility for flying the helicopter on behalf of all of them inside Jumanji he had became terrified.

In the past he had died inside the game in similar settings, and suddenly they wanted him to become responsible for all five of them. If he had crashed then he might be the reasons as to why none of them would ever been given the opportunity to return to their own lives. For them to miss the opportunity to live a long health life, out in the real world.

For weeks after his return Alex woke up screaming in horror with the feeling of his body falling. His voice yelling out "mayday mayday".

Fortunate for himself his parents bedroom was on the other side of the house.

Luckily, as certain he had lost something inside the game, he also knew without a doubt that the four teenagers had, like him, returned to their own time after finishing the game. They might be placed twenty years in the future compared to him, but nonetheless he still knew everything had ended well for them.

With this knowledge his nightmares mostly disappeared. Only returning in one of his weakest moments in life.

Although the feeling of lacking something vital, Alex had gained something from the participation and living inside Jumanji as well.

In the real world he still held on to the knowledge about how to fly a plane, or even a helicopter. Not that anyone would let a teen try out those things, especially if there was no evidence he had ever taken relevant courses before. Despite all of those lacking elements he knew with an certainty in his soul that if ever given the chance, he would excel.

And after a stressful day he now could make a mean margarita.

oOoOo

Having spent a few years struggling a little fitting in the real world again, Alex had a mentally breakdown.

It is what might happen to someone who had gone through similar experiences so he tried not take it to hard. He had never told anyone about his time in Jumanji, after all, who would believe him? Year upon years, carrying the burden of his knowledge by himself. It would break even the strongest person after a while.

All his thoughts, knowledge, ideas, and with the certain feeling he had left something behind, did not make life easier for him. Alex had nightmares, missed the other participants and sometimes felt like he did not fit in with his family or his friends. He had in a way been to war but lacked the evidence.

oOoOo

As he returned from Jumanji he came out as a new man. Being completely honest with himself he was a little stranger than the boy which went in the game. In the first few years he talked to himself daily. Luckily he managed to mostly contain his own comments and opinions to when he was alone.

In order to lessen the burden a little he opted in the end to contact a shrink.

One of the first things his female doctor told him was to start writing an journal. By doing so Alex managed to say what he wanted to say without feeling the need to express himself out loud. Surprisingly it helped.

He even felt less lonely.

In spite of the knowledge his psychologist thought everything was connected to a dreamworld he had made up inside his own head, if felt good talking to someone about his hard times.

Almost refreshing.

The almost bare, white office, with just a few black chairs and a simple oak desk, made him feel more comfortable in his own skin that he had in years.

It felt nice just to let everything go. No longer needing to hide his experience or who he had become. A small haven.

Months went by and he spent hours inside that small office, talking about a world completely different that the one he was now living in.

Discussing the behaviour and personalities of those he met while playing, laughing as he told the doctor about how Martha had tried to flirt with the bad guys and the strange friendship between Fridge and Spencer.

They talked about his gaming friends, despite knowing it would be years before he could see them in real life. He had just spent a few days together with them, but for Alex they could be considered his real true friends. All four of them.

Someone he would treasure until the day he died.

An hour or two a month inside the shrink's office was enough for Alex to face every day as if he had no real problems in life. Hiding as he was waiting.

Every time he left the office, it was still with the confidence that Jumanji was not made up fiction. He had lived it. Survived it, in spite of losing to many of his own life because of the generosity of Bethany.

oOoOo

His fear of mosquitoes every summer made him contemplate moving to Antarctica or something, but his heart told him to stay put. Like he was waiting for something, or someone.

Who cared about what the professional said about the subject? For Alex the appointments was more of an way for him to still hold his memories alive. He went to the doctor in order to have someone to discuss and analyse his time inside the game. Someone who legally could not tell his secret to the world. Someone he could exchange money to in order for them to have an relationship of trust between the two of them.

Beside his psychologist had probably heard way stranger things from other clients over the years.

He just wish the doctor would help him find out what he was missing. What he was physically yearning for.

Instead of finding out what was the real problem, the psychologist diagnosed him as a mild depressive man with PTSD. When Alex questioned the last diagnoses, especially considering the shrink just categorized his experience as a realistic dream. The doctor just replied that the brain worked in mysterious ways.

Nonetheless Alex did not argue loudly against the diagnoses.

In his opinion there might be some truth to it. The PTSD was ofcourse connecting to the horrors of the game.

He had after all been thrown from his everyday life into an situation completely different from what he had ever experienced before.

The closest he had ever gotten the jungle in the past had been on a camping trip over two days with his father. Those two situations could not even be compared.

In jumanji he lived in the jungle by himself. Having to learn how to survive, gather food, find a place to stay, and hide from those wishing to kill him. Both humans and animals. Even small bugs.

Everyday his main focus had been to work hard in order to find a way to return home again.

He had even died there. More than once.

Who knew what would had happened to him if Bethany had not saved him by sharing one of her lives with him. What would happen if she had not tried CPR?

He might have never returned, maybe even died inside the game so that none of the other four players could return to the real world as well.

Making the four of them wait, maybe for years, until the game managed to lure someone else to play.

Like he had.

Alex felt a shiver run down his spine everytime the considered the dreaded idea.

The depression diagnosis he got from his shrink was the one he felt might be a little off. There was something missing, and he knew the second he figured out what it was he might be freed from his sometimes heavy emotions.

He did not wish to take anti depression medication.

He was not depressed, just lacking a part of himself.

oOoOo

Years went by and slowly he became a man.

Getting a degree from college, going to work everyday, making money, and spending time with his dad.

His mom had died before he became thirty. Leaving the two of them. It was hard but they both managed to face a new day, and then another one. After a while the both of them even started to feel a smile enter their faces again. Things got better.

Alex knew his social life was lacking. Despite everything he could not make himself feel the connections he had once felt towards the friends he had before his time inside Jumanji.

Everyone of them were lacking in one way or the other.

The four teenages he had connected to in just a few days inside the jungle felt more real and true than the years he had spent together with his childhood friends.

He still had fun, smiled and acted as if everything was fine while at the same time separated himself slowly from those he had formerly considered his closest friends. When his parents questioned why he was so often alone and how was Thomas and so doing, Alex answered elusive. Not wishing to lie.

In the end he just told them life was to hectic, and that they were all growing apart. Different collages, new interests, and so forth.

No one except his shrink and himself needed to know that those he considered his true friends was hardly out of their diapers.

oOoOo

Alex had a new perspective on life after his adventure. Making him appreciate the small things in a new and more meaningful way.

Electricity and indoor plumbing was something he would never take for granted ever again.

Running cold water he could drink, and a shower he could turn scordering hot made him almost cry the first times he used them after his return.

His parents used to joke around that the water bill was significant higher the years before he moved out compared when it was just the two of them left.

Just to remind himself of how life could be without all those luxurities Alex spent a few weeks a year alone out in the forest. This time he had a tent and warm blankets.

It was luckily nothing like Jumanji, but with bug spray and a few bottles of beer he felt more at peace than anywhere else.

A while after his mom had died he moved back to his childhood home to be closer to his dad. The house was more than big enough for the both of them, and it felt nice not living alone in an empty flat.

This time Alex was paying his share of the water bill and other expenses.

oOoOo

His lovelife had never been questioned by his parents at least. Or his lack of one.

The first few years Alex had not noticed his lack of interest in the opposite sex. Heck, he had no sexual interest in the same sex even. Despite this he would not adress himself as asexuall, he had a drive and his right hand could give him the release when he needed it.

The only problem was finding someone he wanted to be with. Someone to share his life with.

It felt as if everyone he could in passing consider attractive became boring the second he addressed them. Making him lose interest in just a few minutes. Not seeing the point of even try dating them. There was always something wrong with them. To tall, wrong color in hair or eyes, or the wrong figure. The other person might even smell a little off.

Alex had no idea what he was searching for, but he knew it was not someone he had met yet.

In the end Alex just concluded it was another strange thing his body and mind had dragged with him back from Jumanji.

Maybe it was for the best he never got a family of his own, never making his father a grandfather. Those thoughts made him a little sad. His dad would make a great grandfather. He just knew it.

Nonetheless he could not make himself become intimate with anyone. It felt wrong to even consider it.

More than once he had considered adopting. But who in their right mind would let a forever single man adopt a child when it had been documented that particular man was both depressed and suffered from PTSD?

Personally Alex did not think those elements would hinder him from becoming a great dad.

With the right person he could open himself up, becoming the man he knew he could be. Even without the need to talk to an psychologist. If he ever found somebody he would tell them everything. Every small detail. His partner would know all his hidden emotions. They would know Jumanji.

This he promised himself.

In the end it was as if his heart told him not to adopt. Almost like he was suppose to wait for something. Or someone.

oOoOo

When he was almost forty he finally figured out what had been missing his whole life.

Right in front of him, on a cold day in December, he notised four teenages looking at him strangly as he was unwrapping the christmas tree from the hood of his car.

For a moment he could hardly breath, but then he managed to find his courage. He started walking in the direction of the group of four missmatched strangers. Step by step, making his heart beat louder and louder in his ears.

Despite having never seen them before, his heart was screaming to him that he knew them.

Had spent an adventure together with them.

Had seen some of them die and return to life.

Had almost died in front of them himself.

One by one he gave them a lookover. The small skinny kid he addressed as Spencer, the hight strong boy would be Fridge, the ginger haired girl was Martha, and the beautiful blond girl would have to be Bethany. From their shocked expressions he knew he had guessed correctly.

None of them were even remotely similar to the character they had played inside Jumanji, least of all Bethany, but even before they had an real conversation Alex felt a inner peace at last.

As the five of them were talking, everyone trying to make an understanding of what had happened during the time they had last seen each other. Alex talked but had trouble keeping his eyes away from Bethany.

She was beautiful.

And so young.

He had finally found what had been missing.

The small girl in front of him. She held part of his soul. And he had part of hers inside of him.

Just standing close to her made him feel complete for the first time in almost twenty years.

She was hardly legal but he knew he would love her for the rest of his life. She was the one he had been waiting for.

When Bethany shared one of her lives with him she had probably made a connection between the two of them which had crossed over from the game and into the real world. A red string in a way, linking their lacking souls together.

Two half making one whole.

oOoOo

Alex had trouble on how to address the issue with the girl. Did she feel it as well? The connection holding the two of them together.

His elecluse life, completely without ever having tried to flirt with someone from the opposite sex made him extra uncomfortable. Especially considering the high age difference between the two of them.

She was an vibrating young woman, ready to take the steps into making a great future for herself.

He on the other hand were twice her age, diagnosed with mental problems and were living together with his dad. 'What a great catch he were' he told himself depressingly.

Luckily for Alex, Bethany had decided he was what she needed in order to make her great future. Despite everything she did not hide the fact she wanted him and told him so with straightforward words and sparkling eyes.

In the beginning Alex had no idea what he was suppose to do with someone like Bethany. He just knew he could never refuse her. She was the love of his life. The keeper of his heart. The reason he was alive today.

Nonetheless he made her promise to take things slow with him.

She needed to graduate, and then they could gently try dating after that. Bethany protested in the beginning but in the end reluctantly agreed.

This was the one thing she could not make him change his opinion on.

Alex had in a way waited for her for twenty years, he could wait a few more months.

It was hard, but they both managed to hold their emotions back. For a while at least. It made him less worried for the future when she confessed to him that she knew it would be the two of them for life.

oOoOo

Bethany graduated and they started to get to know each other on a personal level out in the real world. In coffeeshops instead of the wet jungle.

During their first dates they received more than a few looks. If it had not been for their connections Alex would had run for the hills a long time ago, not used to the judgmental looks.

Bethany on the other hand would strongly hold his hand when they were out in public together. Refusing to let go and at the same time giving him strength to hold his head high. Their love was connected on a deeper level than what the ignorant people around them assumed anyway.

Having Spencer, Martha and Fridge cheering them on from the sidelines helped him a lot as well.

Slowly the couple went from dating, till kissing and having a sexuall relationship.

Alex proposed not long after.

He had bought the ring years ago without having an idea as to why he wanted to at the time. Or even having an idea as to who he would give it to. His heart just told him he should buy it. At that time he had long given up not listening to his heart, and followed the directions it wanted him to go. Which was toward a golden ring with an bright green emerald stone.

Bethany both cried and screamed out in joy when he got down on one knee.

The ring was a perfect match to her finger.

Less than a year later they met at the altar, she an angel dress in white, and him in a black suit.

oOoOo

Alex had been correct in one of his former assumptions.

His dad was a great grandfather.

Sitting next to his lovely wife, watching his father joyfully playing around in the yard with his three grandchildren made his heart and face smile.

Everything in his life was now finally whole and perfect.

oOoOo

AN: This is something more similar to how I wanted to movie to end, hope it reflects the wish for someones else as well.


End file.
